Handling Difficult People

Effective strategy called the T.O.T.A.L. approach in handling difficult people.

The T.O.T.A.L approach stands for Tolerate, Overlook, Trivialise, Accept and Let Go.

TOLERATE

To get along with others we need to tolerate differences, diversities and sometimes "difficult people".

The best way to rid an enemy is by making a friend out of him.

OVERLOOK

"a wise person overlooks an insult, but a fool immediately gets annoyed".

A good way to hold the peace is to ignore insults by others.

A person who shows patience and calm in facing an insult is superior compared with the wildly uncontrolled insulter who is reduced to an uncivilised barbarian.

Eleanor Roosevelt said it best : "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent".

TRIVIALISE

The key is to keep calm and focus on the things that matter and be not affected by the trivialities trumped up by them.

Trivialise the problem ; don't sweat the small stuff but simply find the solution to the problem, and move forward.

ACCEPT 

Theologian Reinhold Niebuhr put it soundly in his prayer, "God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference".

LET GO

One great hindrance to good relationship with others is the inability of letting go of untoward incidents that had happened in the past.

Letting go, requires forgiveness.

We move on to make amends and patch up with people.

When one learns to handle difficult people, one achieves an inner peace which will make one happier and healthier.

Source : Dr Victor S. L. Tan / 1Klassifieds NST

MySide -

# very challenging to deal with difficult peope

# requires inner strength and patience

# easy said than done